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Unlearning Always Saying "Yes": The Art of Putting Up Boundaries
- Women Specific
- By InLife Sheroes
- Oct 13, 2025
- 0 Comments
Setting boundaries empowers you to protect your peace while staying true to your needs and values.
Key Takeaways
- Healthy boundaries protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being and help you build more respectful relationships.
- Clear, simple communication makes boundary setting easier and more effective.
- Consistency reinforces your limits and teaches others to treat you with respect.
Many Filipino women grow up hearing phrases like “Ikaw na bahala,” “Huwag ka na mag-abala,” or “Kahit pagod, go lang.” These messages shape us to be accommodating, helpful, and agreeable. While these are beautiful traits, they also make it easy to fall into the habit of saying “yes” even when we are tired, overwhelmed, or uncomfortable.
Learning to set boundaries is not selfish. It is an act of self-respect. It protects your time, energy, emotions, and overall well-being. When you set healthy boundaries, you create space for what truly matters and strengthen your relationships because you show up with honesty and clarity.
Learning to Say “No” as a Filipino Woman
Setting boundaries is important because it protects your time, energy, and emotional well-being. It helps you stay true to your needs, reduces stress, and builds healthier relationships. Clear limits create space for balance, self-respect, and choices that support your personal growth.
Our lives comprise of multiple facets, and you’ll need to set boundaries for each one:
- Mental Boundaries - Protect your thoughts, values, and opinions despite disagreements.
- Time Boundaries - Prioritize your rest, work, responsibilities, and personal activities over other people’s demands.
- Emotional Boundaries - Establish how emotionally available you are to others.
- Material Boundaries - Limits how you use and share your belongings, money, or resources.
- Physical Boundaries - Define your comfort level when it comes to personal space, touch, or privacy.
- Conversational Boundaries - Avoid topics or discussions you find uncomfortable, triggering, or inappropriate.
- Internal Boundaries - Regulates the energy and resources you spend on yourself versus others.
5 Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries
Here are tips to help you set healthy boundaries in your life:
1. Be Clear on Your Boundaries
Before you can communicate your limits, you need to know what they are. Ask yourself:
What drains my energy? What do I need to protect my peace? What situations lead me to overwork, overspend, or overextend?
Your answers will help you set clear and personalized boundaries.
2. Communicate Clearly and Firmly
You do not need a long speech. A simple, honest statement works. Clear communication helps others understand what you need without guessing or assuming.
3. Don't Overexplain
You are not required to justify your limits. Overexplaining can make you question your decisions. Keep your statements short and confident.
4. Offer Alternatives
If you want to maintain a positive relationship while protecting your limits, giving options may help, especially at work. You can decline the request while offering something realistic and comfortable for you.
5. Set Consequences (And Follow Through)
Consistency teaches people how to treat you. If someone crosses your boundary, let them know what will happen next time. For example: “If this happens again, I will need to step back.” Following through reinforces the seriousness of your limit.
What to Say When Setting Boundaries
How do you say “no” and set a boundary without straining your relationships? Here are some examples:
1. Work Boundaries: Protecting Your Time
Boundary: Not accepting tasks outside your work hours.
What to say: “I can help during work hours, but hindi ko ito kayang gawin after. Let’s schedule it tomorrow so I can give it proper attention.”
2. Family Boundaries: Respecting Your Finances
Boundary: Not lending money when it affects your savings.
What to say: “Gusto ko sana makatulong pero hindi kaya ng budget ko ngayon. I can help you look for other options if you want.”
3. Personal Boundaries: Saving Your Emotional Energy
Boundary: Not entertaining draining or negative conversations.
What to say: “Medyo mabigat yung topic and I’m not in the right headspace right now. Let’s talk about something lighter muna.”
Take Care of Your Boundary, Take Care of Yourself
Setting boundaries feels uncomfortable at first, especially if you are used to putting others first. But every firm “no” is actually a “yes” to your health, your priorities, and your peace. It allows you to create a life built on intention instead of pressure.
As you unlearn the habit of always saying “yes,” you strengthen your confidence and protect your well-being. Let the Inlife Sheroes community be your guide and support in establishing healthy boundaries and living with clarity and self-respect. Join us today!
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